Date With A Vampire
by Red Witch
Summary: Storm has a date but there are a few problems: 1-He's Dracula, 2-He's married, 3-The X-Men, Misfits and several other uninvited guests are spying on them! Crossover with the movie Love at First Bite! R&R the complete insanity!
1. How The Count Got His Groove On

**Don't own characters from Marvel or certain other infamous vampire movies. Well a lot of you have been asking me if I planned to do something with vampires. At first I had no clue, until I watched a certain movie from 1975 and had a wild idea. See if you can guess what movie I'm talking about. **

** Date With a Vampire**

**Chapter 1: How the Count Got His Groove On**

Somewhere in Northern California there perched a lonely mansion that looked more like it came out of Northern Transylvania than the coast. Actually it was from Northern Transylvania. It's owner had bought it back from the now defunct communist government in the early 80's when originally it had been taken to provide housing for Olympic gymnasts. Despite the painstaking recreation right down to the moss in the dungeons the owner felt no peace in the house. This was partially due to the wolves howling outside. 

"Children of the Night…HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP?" A tall man dressed in a tuxedo and flowing cape shouted out the window. He bore an eerie resemblance to George Hamilton right down to the tan, which was especially odd since he was Vladimir Dracula the most infamous vampire who ever lived.

And right now he was having the hissy fit of a lifetime. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HOWL AT THE EXACT SAME TIME OF THE NIGHT ANYWAY? CAN'T YOU TAKE A NIGHT OFF OR SOMETHING? WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU? AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FOLLOW ME ALL THE WAY FROM TRANSYLVANIA ANYWAY?" 

"Master please," A hunched, blond little man with thick red glasses begged. "Such a display does not befit you."

"Well who the hell else am I going to yell at now that…" Dracula choked. "My wife has left me…PERSONAL SPACE MY VAMPIRE BUTT!" 

"Master I'm sure the Mistress will come back to her senses soon."

"Oh how I wish she would Reinfield," Dracula sighed as he slumped away from the window. "My life is so empty now that she is gone. Well technically I don't really have a life since I am undead but you get the picture. Oh Cindy, Cindy why did you abandon me? I will never understand women. I made her my vampire bride. Gave her immortal youth and took her away from that boring modeling job to become Queen of the Undead. Take her on trips around the world to find new blood supplies and dance by the moonlight. I even got this wonderfully dingy castle back for her. Look at those curtains Reinfield, we picked them out together. They went so well with our coffins…." He started to sob.

"Oh boy," Reinfield sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's gonna be one of those nights. Master please. She's only been gone two weeks. Two long agonizing weeks. Two long agonizing weeks full of pain woe and torture…"

"I know you are trying to cheer me up Reinfield," Dracula sighed. "But it's just not working." 

"Well it was worth a shot," Reinfield shrugged and took a case out from his pocket. "Water beetle?" He offered one to his master.

Dracula looked at him. "Uh…no thanks I gave it up for Lent," He muttered an excuse. 

"Oh well," Reinfield shrugged as he gulped it down. "Master if the Mistress is not returning, perhaps it is time for you to find a new bride."

"Are you mad?" Dracula snapped. "There is no one who can replace my wonderful Cindy!"

"Well you shouldn't say that Master," Reinfield took out several pictures of women. "There's certainly a huge selection to choose from. Just take a look at some of these."

"Reinfield even if I did want another bride and that is a very big if," Dracula took the pictures. "Where will I find someone that will come even close to her? I mean look at these women. They are so thin. I have seen more meat in a peasant's potato soup!"

"Well not all of them are models Master," Reinfield encouraged. "Just take a look."

"I don't even know why I am humoring you," Dracula grumbled. "There's nothing here I want to see. Too thin, too old, too young…of course I am nearly seven hundred years old but that's beside the point. None of these women can even hold a candle to my beloved, my soul mate, my…My god who is that?" His jaw dropped when he saw the last picture. 

"I saw her on the news Master," Reinfield told him. "She is a mutant who can control the weather. They call her Storm. Yes I admit that she doesn't look anything like Cindy…"

"Cindy who?" Dracula snapped. "Reinfield we have a winner! Prepare my coffin! We go immediately to…Where is she from?"

"New York sir, in the town of Bayville."

"Bay-ville," Dracula rolled the name off his tongue. "Yes we shall go there. She is exquisite. How does that saying go again? Oh yes…Baby has a back!" 

**So what happens when Dracula comes a courting? You got it, a lot of insanity! **


	2. Stepping Out With My Undead Baby

**Stepping Out With My Undead Baby**

It had been a typical day at the Xavier Institute. 

BOOOM!

Well as typical as can be expected when the Misfits visit. "Okay who blew up what this time I wonder?" Shipwreck mused as he watched television with Bobby, Rogue, Althea and Todd.

"Five will get you ten it was Tabby," Todd remarked as he casually grabbed some chips with his tongue. 

"Nah it didn't sound like her time bombs," Bobby thought. "It could be Sam flying around into the walls again." 

"No Sam makes a whooshing sound," Rogue said. "It could be Forge's inventions backfiring on him again."

"Well you're half right Sis," Pietro raced up to them. "It was Forge's latest particle laser toaster however Jesse was a bit too close to it." 

"Ah," Shipwreck nodded. "Wait, the kid didn't blow it up on purpose did he?"

"No he's just very jumpy," Pietro grinned.

"What did you do?" Rogue moaned. 

"What makes you think it was me?" Pietro asked.

"Because it is almost always you," Althea remarked. "So what did you do?"

"All I did was say 'boo'," Pietro shrugged. "Not exactly the most frightening thing."

"It is if you are wearing a hockey mask and holding a fake chainsaw in the dark," Wanda walked in. "What are you guys doing?" 

"We're watching the news," Shipwreck said. "It's a bit less violent than around here." 

"That's the second time this week the blood bank's been robbed," Bobby remarked. "Weird." 

"How much you wanna bet they blame this on us?" Rogue grumbled. 

"Oh come on," Pietro waved. "Mutants aren't vampires. Well most of us aren't." He dodged a swipe from Rogue. "Touchy, touchy."

Ororo casually walked by the room. She was wearing a very fashionable dress and looked very attractive. "Whoa!" Shipwreck immediately noticed her. "Where are you going pretty lady?"

"None of your business Shipwreck," Ororo told him. 

"She's going to see her new boyfriend," Jamie walked up and grinned.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Ororo snapped. 

"What's this about Storm having a boyfriend?" Logan walked in with John and Low Light. 

"I do not! I just have…a date," Ororo admitted.

**"What date?"** Shipwreck shouted. "With who?" 

"What's going on?" Kurt asked as he teleported in.

"Storm's got a date," Rogue said. "Is it with that guy you met the other night?"

"What guy?" Shipwreck shouted. "WHAT OTHER NIGHT?"

"Why don't you say it louder?" Ororo snapped. "I don't think the whole mansion heard you!"

By this time however nearly the entire mansion had walked in. Students were flocking to the room. "We heard it all," Arcade said. "They were at this museum two nights ago…"

"Arcade…" Ororo growled.

"Something about Xavier paying damages for a previous field trip," Xi continued. "Then trying to convince them not to ban mutants for life from it."

"That's enough Xi," Ororo warned.

"So she's in this gallery when this guy in a tuxedo and a gorgeous accent introduces himself to her," Kitty giggled. "I mean I saw them talking and he was like really charming. If I was older I'd go for him."

"KITTY!" Ororo shouted. "The entire world does not need to hear the details!"

"No just us," Hank said. "Continue dear." 

"Well…" Kitty started. 

"WILL ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" Ororo shouted. "The last thing I need right now is all of you prying into my private life!" The doorbell rang. "Now all of you behave yourselves. ESPECIALLY YOU SHIPWRECK!" 

"I'll get it!" Kitty ran to the door, phasing through people to be there first. Behind the front door was a very swarthy distinguished man. 

"Greetings," He said in a smooth Romanian accent. "I am Vladimir Dracule. I have come to escort Miss Monroe out for the evening." 

"Sure come on in!" Several X-Men and Misfits shouted cheerfully. 

"NO!" Ororo said too quickly. "Uh maybe some other time. Let's go Vladimir. Don't wait up. **I mean it!**" She grabbed Dracula and dragged him out the door. 

"He seems like a nice guy," Kurt blinked. 

"There's something about that guy that gives me the willies," Thornn shuddered. 

"All the more reason to investigate!" Shipwreck had a gleam in his eyes. 

"You are not going to spy on Storm and her date," Low Light warned.

"Spy? Heaven forbid!" Shipwreck made a wounded look. "Actually we were thinking of investigating something else…Like the blood bank robberies in town."

"We were?" Fred blinked. Lance elbowed him in the side. "Oh yeah! We were!" 

"Yeah," Todd took the hint. "I heard that General Hawk wants us to look into it."

"He does not," Low Light glared at him.

"Well since we are in the neighborhood…" Shipwreck shrugged.

"And it is a medical thing," Angelica said quickly. "Right Lina?"

"Oh yes and I guess we could investigate," Lina blinked. 

"Well then let's go Misfits!" Shipwreck and the Misfits quickly ran out the back door.

Except for Low Light. "YOU GUYS! WAIT UNTIL ROADBLOCK AND COVER GIRL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" He ran after them. 

"Well this is an interesting development," Hank mused.

"Yeah it's a lot more interesting than talking about Kitty's love life for a change," Bobby said. 

"Uh guys the Misfits just took off," Kitty said pointing out the window. 

"Good," Scott smiled.

"Not really, they stole one of our vehicles," Kitty said.

"WHAT?" Scott shouted. 

"HEY COME BACK WITH THE X-VAN!" Logan roared. 

"We're really going to go spy on Ororo's date aren't we?" Pietro asked as they drove away. 

"Well duh!" Shipwreck told him as they sped off. 

**What will happen next? What is Dracula's dastardly plan? Will Ororo fall under his spell? Or will she kill Shipwreck first? Stay tuned and find out! **


	3. Follow the Lunatics

**Follow the Lunatics**

"Got your life insurance paid up Pop?" Althea asked. "Cause once Storm realizes that we're following her on her date you are a dead man." 

"Just shut up and let me drive!" Shipwreck snapped as he followed the limo with Ororo and her date. "Besides it ain't like we're the only ones checking her out!" He pointed to Jean's SUV that was following them. 

"I don't think Jean's gonna be happy you stole her SUV," Kitty remarked. In the vehicle were Forge (Who was driving) Kitty, Kurt, Jubilee, Rogue, Roberto and Thornn.

"We're borrowing it, not stealing," Forge corrected. "Besides I think she'd be happy we took some responsibility in bringing the van back in one piece."

"I think she'd be happier if we brought her vehicle back in one piece," Kurt remarked. "Watch the road!" 

"Hey do you want the van back or not?" Forge snapped.

"This isn't about the van," Kitty told him. "This is about your stupid crush on Storm!" 

"I do not have a…" Forge began.

"Oh Pul-leez!" Jubilee interrupted. "Everybody in the entire mansion knows about it!" 

"Ironically everybody except Storm," Roberto said. "Well she kind of knows about it but she's in denial." 

"And that's why you're really doing this," Thornn remarked. "You'd blow up the stupid car just to get the dirt on Ororo and this Vlad guy. I still say he's kind of creepy."

"I thought he was nice," Kitty said.

"No offense Kitty but you're not exactly known for your good taste in guys," Thornn rolled her eyes. "So maybe we should check him out just to be safe." 

"WHAT?" Kitty yelled. "DO YOU WANNA START SOMETHING?" 

"Hey can we can the cat fights until we at least get through this evening?" Forge snapped. "Although for the record Kitty you have to admit you haven't exactly been batting a thousand lately in that department." 

"That's for sure," Rogue groaned. 

"Gives me a headache just thinking about it," Kurt moaned. 

"Can we forget about my love life for now and focus on Storm's?" Kitty asked in an icy tone. "I still can't believe we're doing this!" 

"At least we're getting out of the mansion and away from the adults," Rogue told her.

"Not that far," Roberto pointed out. "Some of them are following us in Scott's car."

Behind them was Scott driving his car. Jean was in the front seat with him. "Those maniacs are so dead!" Jean grumbled. "If they so much as scratch my SUV…" 

"I'm more worried about them wrecking Ororo's date," Scott said.

"Oh yeah wouldn't **that **be a tragedy," Hank drawled sarcastically. 

"Hey you got no one to blame but yourself," Roadblock told him. "If you made your move that dude wouldn't have gotten into the groove. You had your chance at romance."

"Do you ever **not **rhyme?" Hank asked.

"Some of the time," Roadblock answered. 

"Aggh!" Hank groaned in exasperation. 

"Oh shut up you two and put the petal to the metal!" Cover Girl snapped. She was sitting between the two in the back seat. "We're losing them!" 

"I wish we'd lose them," Roadblock jerked a thumb behind him.

Riding on two motorcycles behind Scott's car were Low Light, Logan and John (In the passenger's side car in the second motorcycle.) "So let me get this straight," John shouted. "We're following Hank and his group who are following the X-Kids who are following Shipwreck and the Misfits who are following Ororo and her date." 

"Yup," Logan told him.

"And it's pretty obvious why Shipwreck is following Ororo," Low Light said.

"And of course our kids have to follow the Misfits so that they won't cause trouble," John said. "And Scott's following the X-Kids to make sure **they** don't cause any trouble! Not to mention make sure Jean's ride isn't wrecked. So why are **we** following them?" 

"Beats watching TV," Low Light told him. "I guess Charlie feels the same way!"

Behind **them **was Xavier's limo. "Why am I even doing this?" Xavier sighed as he rode in the back seat. "Oh yes, in case they all get into real trouble and I have to erase more minds. Or pay the bail money."

"Oh come on Professor!" Tabitha squealed with glee as she drove the limo. "This is gonna be wild!" 

"Tabitha please slow down!" Xavier clenched his hands onto the door handle.

"Can't Big Daddy X," Tabitha told him. "There's this jerk on a motorcycle riding my tail!" She honked the horn. "Hey! Watch the road you creep!" 

"Why did I let **her **drive?" Xavier groaned. 

Behind them the maniac on the motorcycle passed them and nearly collided with the other vehicles. "What the devil is that guy doing?" Logan growled.

"Hey watch it!" Scott shouted as the motorcycle took off his mirror as it passed. "My car!" 

"Geeze some people are so pushy!" Forge grumbled as the motorcycle passed them. He honked the horn. 

"Watch it buddy!" Shipwreck honked the horn not letting the motorcycle pass. 

"There seems to be a lot of traffic tonight," Dracula mused as he heard the horns from inside his limo.

"A little too much traffic!" Ororo growled as she looked out the window. "I should have known! Well that's a problem that can't be taken care off!" She created a dense fog that nearly caused the vehicles to crash into one another. 

"Aw man we lost them!" Forge groaned as the strange motorcycle finally got by Shipwreck. "Well at least we lost that guy on the motorcycle too!" 

"Nice trick," Dracula nodded. 

"Thank you. It really doesn't bother you that I'm a mutant?" Ororo asked. 

"Don't worry," Dracula grinned. "I am a man of the world. Mutants are not a problem for me. Nutcases with wooden stakes are another story…" He realized Ororo had a puzzled look on his face. "Uh, where I come from it's the equivalent of a drive by shooting. Reinfield! Step on it!" 


	4. I Love the Night Life

**I Love the Night Life**

Soon Ororo and her date arrived at a trendy nightclub. "This is beautiful," Ororo said.

"I'm glad you like it," Dracula grinned as they sat down to dinner. "I hope you will enjoy yourself."

"I may do that," Ororo grinned. "One question, why is your driver with us?"

Reinfield was squatting next to Dracula. "Where else would I be but by my Master's side?" He asked quizzically.

"Ha, ha…" Dracula laughed nervously. "Such an odd sense of humor you have Reinfield. He's also my…uh personal assistant. Reinfield why don't you go relax for a while? Say a couple of hours? Get some dinner maybe?"

"Oh thank you, Master!" Reinfield's eyes lit up. "I saw some nice cockroaches near the kitchen on my way in!" He ran off.

"Uh…" Dracula was trying to cover for his manservant's slip of the tongue. "He's on the Atkins diet. I think he's been on it a little too long." 

"Sounds like he'd get along with someone I know like a house on fire," Ororo groaned. "Do you want a drink?"

"Actually I ate before I got here…Oh you mean the wine!" Dracula realized his mistake. "I've been on a diet myself. Liquid diet. Very cleansing. Doctor's orders. High blood pressure and all. But you can have anything you wish." 

Meanwhile Shipwreck and the Misfits had managed to sneak in. "Wow Blob I can't believe how far you threw that bouncer," Pietro remarked. "He must have cleared forty feet easy!"

"It's all in the wrists," Fred grinned. 

"All right all of you spread out," Shipwreck told them. "Let me know if you find them. And for crying out loud try to keep a low profile."

"Oh yeah we'll blend," Todd rolled his eyes. "I'm hungry. Wanna check out the kitchens Freddy?" 

"Actually I'm not really hungry right now," Fred told him. "Maybe later. I wanna check out the dance floor. Uh Lina would you like to uh…?"

"Well yeah but…" She was a bit nervous about people seeing her.

"No problem," Todd took off a watch. "I swiped one of these from Blue Boy." He put it on her and turned it on. Lina looked almost like her old self except with shorter hair. "See!"

"Wow…" Lina blinked. "I'm…me again…" 

"Shall we?" Fred offered his arm. 

"Let's," Lina agreed and they went off. 

"Oh brother…" Lance groaned. He looked around. "Where's Xi?"

"I'm right here," A voice said near him. "I just turned invisible before we walked in."

"Smart thinking," Althea said. "You guys look around. I'll stay with Pop to make sure he stays under control."

"Great! Now to check out the babes!" Pietro zoomed off. 

"Oh great," Wanda groaned. "Come on Angelica let's see if we can get a drink at the bar."

"What?" Shipwreck yelped. 

"A soda Shipwreck," Wanda told him.

"I knew that," Shipwreck said. "But if you can get me one…" Althea then hit him on the head. "What?" 

"Come on Casanova!" Althea pulled him along. "Let's just find Storm will ya?" 

"I think I just found her," Lance pointed to the dance floor. Currently on it was Dracula and Storm dancing to the song of KC and the Sunshine Band's 'Get Down Tonight'. It was an odd yet elegant mix of disco moves blended in with the tango. 

"Why that…" Shipwreck moved to intercept but Althea stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed. "We're only supposed to be watching them! Remember?"

"Fine we'll just blend with the crowd!" Shipwreck told him. "Come on kid let's dance."

"I am not dancing with you," Althea glared at him.

"What you too embarrassed to dance with your old man?" Shipwreck asked.

"You got it," Althea told him.

"Fine I'll get one of the Triplets to dance with me!" Shipwreck said. 

"Where are they?" Althea asked.

"They said they had to go to the men's room," Arcade told her. 

"You mean the ladies' room," Lance corrected.

A loud chorus of male screams and shouts could be heard. "No the men's room," Arcade sighed. 

"Hey! I just thought of something," Shipwreck said. 

"Wow alert the media," Althea said sarcastically.

"The babies and Spyder are back at the mansion aren't they?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Don't worry Spyder's looking after them," Lance told him. "She said she had some things to tie up back there. Or was it she was going to tie up any X-Men left there? I didn't pay too much attention."

"Oh goody," Shipwreck groaned. "Come on kid! We need to blend in!"

"Which is why I'm not going to dance with you!" Althea snapped. 

"I'm not gonna dance with you," Lance told him. 

"Well I might if you let me lead," Arcade considered.

"Oh god kid we have got to get you a girlfriend…" Shipwreck groaned. 

"Physician heal thyself," Althea quipped.

"It's so nice to have a supportive daughter," Shipwreck said sarcastically. 

Then another song came on. It was Alicia Bridge's 'I Love the Nightlife'. At this Dracula then burst into tears. "Vlad…is there something wrong?" Ororo asked as they walked off the floor. 

"My wife…It was our song before she…departed," Dracula sniffed.

"Oh I am so sorry," Ororo apologized. "Has she been…deceased long?"

"Well since 1979…technically," Dracula mused. "But this evening isn't about her. It's about you." He took her hand. "Your eyes are as blue as the ocean, and just as deep. Just looking into them makes me feel calm and tranquil."

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" A man covered with toilet paper ran past them. "SOME CRAZY GIRLS ARE RUNNING AMOK!" 

"Is that the latest fashion craze?" Dracula asked.

"If only…" Ororo groaned. "Please let it be some other girls for once…**Please **let it be some other girls for once…" 

"STOP HITTING ON OUR DATES YOU WHITE HAIRED FREAK!" Someone shouted.

"It's a coincidence…" Ororo was getting a glazed look in her eyes. "It's **got** to be a coincidence." 

"What is?" Dracula asked. "Oh no…" He then noticed a familiar figure in the background. "You know maybe we should be going now?" 

Suddenly a commotion happened behind them. "GIVE ME THAT COCKROACH!" Reinfield screamed as he and Todd wrestled on the floor.

"GET YOUR OWN!" Todd shouted fighting back. 

"I think our cover is blown," Wanda groaned. 

"I knew this was too good to be true…" Ororo groaned. 

"We definitely should be going now!" Dracula stormed up to Reinfield and grabbed him from behind. "I can't take you anywhere can I?" 

"It's not my fault!" Reinfield whined. "**He** started it!" 

"He took my cockroach!" Todd pointed. 

"And it was delicious NYAHHH!" Reinfield stuck his tongue out at him. 

"Toad…" Ororo growled. She looked around and saw Shipwreck waving to her. Her eyes began to glow. A bit of wind started to pick up.

"This is not going to be good…" Todd gulped as several tables started to fly around. People were running around everywhere. Some debris hit Fred on the back. He covered Lina with his body. Unfortunately she accidentally shut off the inducer and revealed her true form. Frightening people even more. 

"Well this plan has officially gone to hell," Pietro grumbled. A huge black man wearing a black trench coat and glasses shoved him. "Hey watch it buddy! You nearly stabbed me with that sword you're carrying!" He did a double take. "Sword! HEY THERE'S SOMEBODY WITH A SWORD IN HERE!" 

"Quiet you stupid…" The man snarled but Pietro grabbed the sword away from him.

"Didn't your mommy tell you it's not nice to play with sharp objects?" He taunted. The man leapt at him abnormally fast, but Pietro dodged it faster. "Uh uh…Too slow!" 

"Why you little…" The man snarled. The next thing he knew he was knocked on the head by a chair that was flying around. He fell to the floor. 

"Oh boy…" Todd gulped as he crawled away. "I just hope she don't use that freaky lightning in here!" 

"Come on my dear I think we must be going!" Dracula gulped as he grabbed Ororo's arm and guided her out the back. 

"They're getting away!" Shipwreck said. 

"It figures we've missed all the action," Thornn shouted as the X-Men in Jean's SUV ran in. 

"Well better late than never. Where are the others?" Shipwreck asked.

"They kind of got into a little accident back when the fog rolled in," Forge explained. "Let's just say Tabby's driving is just as bad as Kitty's!" 

"What happened here?" Kurt looked at the damage.

"Storm found us out," Althea looked at Todd. "Can't imagine why."

"That crazy driver of his started it! You know for a little nerd with glasses he's stronger than he looks," Todd grunted. 

"Who's this guy?" Angelica asked as Pietro was standing over the man.

"Just some nut job with a sword," Pietro held it up. "But I took care of him. No…" The man jumped up and grabbed the sword back with inhuman speed. "Problem?" 

"Thanks a lot you idiots!" The man snarled at them, barring a pair of sharp fangs. "Because of you Dracula got away!" 

"Hey! He's a mutant too!" Todd pointed at him.

"I am not a mutant," He snarled.

"Denial," Fred rolled his eyes.

"I'm a dhamphir," He snapped. "A half-vampire. I am Blade a vampire hunter and because of you fools my quarry escaped! By the end of the evening your friend will be turned into a creature of the damned and her soul will be flung into the abyss of hell and it will be all your fault!" 

"O-Kay…" Todd blinked. He whispered to Lance. "Man you meet the weirdest characters in nightclubs don't cha?" 


	5. How Do We Keep Meeting People Like This?

**How Do We Keep Meeting People Like This?**

"A vampire?" Lance blinked. "As in an actual vampire?"

"Yes," Blade nodded. "Your friend is in danger. He will wish to consume her blood and take her as his bride." 

"You mean he's like Dracula," Forge said.

"He **is** Dracula," Blade growled impatiently. 

"Wait a minute…Dracula? **The** Dracula?" Kurt gasped. 

"Yes," Blade folded his arms.

"You mean as in Dracula like in the movies Dracula?" Todd blinked.

"Yes." 

"The same Dracula as in the book with the same name?" Rogue blinked.

"Yes." 

"Dracula?" Kitty asked. "Like as in the Dracula play me and Rogue were in with the fangs and the blood and the bats and everything?"

"Yes." 

"You mean the head Fang Face himself Dracula who's always looking out for hot broads to take back to his coffin with him?" Shipwreck asked. 

"YES!" Blade shouted. "**That** Dracula! The real Dracula!" 

"The **real **Dracula?" Forge's jaw dropped. "But history says that the real one was really a man named Vlad the Impaler who was merely a homicidal maniac back in…" 

"Yes well actually they were first cousins," Blade interrupted. "A lot of people make that mistake. And it was better for the world to believe that." 

"And Storm's on a date with him?" Wanda asked. 

"And he's going to make her his next bride?" Pietro asked. 

"Yes to both questions," Blade snapped. "Any other stupid questions you'd like to waste my time with?"

"Yeah I got one," Fred scratched his head. "If he's the real Dracula, how come he has a tan?"

"It's a fake," Blade sighed. "You know like those ones that come out of a bottle."

"Gee for someone who can't see himself in a mirror he sounds kind of vain," Fred remarked.

"He is," Blade rolled his eyes. "He has the largest ego on the planet!"

"I dunno about that," Lance said. "I think Pietro here could give him a pretty good run for **that** title!" 

"Hey at least I wouldn't blemish my beautiful skin with some fake goop!" Pietro retorted. "My stuff's all natural and…" 

"And I thought the **dead **were annoying!" Blade groaned. "If we're through wasting time here…"

"Hold on!" Scott and several of the others ran in. "Thanks a lot for leaving us behind!"

"Those dents are never gonna come out of my bike," Logan grunted. 

"What's going on?" John asked. He pointed at Blade. "Who is **this** guy?" 

"Blade the vampire hunter," Todd told him without missing a beat. "Turns out Storm's on a date with Dracula. Literally." 

"A vampire?" Jean asked. "A real live vampire? Like Dracula?"

"No a real dead vampire," Forge explained. "And it **is **Dracula." 

"You saying Dracula's real and Storm's on a date with him?" Scott's jaw dropped. 

"Not again…" Blade grumbled. "**This** is why I prefer to work alone!" 

**Next: Storm's date with destiny continues…Until a surprise guest interrupts Dracula's plans! Who is it? Wait and see! **


	6. Putting the Bite on a Romantic Evening

**Putting the Bite on a Romantic Evening**

Dracula managed to get Ororo to the park where they could be alone. Unfortunately they weren't. "Master this is such a lovely spot," Reinfield grinned happily as he followed them.

"Yes, a perfect place where people can be **alone**!" Dracula growled. 

"But we are alone Master," Reinfield told him. "Just the three of us." 

"Reinfield go chase a mosquito or something will you?" Dracula sighed. 

"Oh okay…" He beamed and romped off into the bushes. 

"Sorry," Dracula apologized. "He was dropped on his head when he was a baby. For a day…" 

"Well you're not the only one who needs to apologize…" Ororo sighed as they sat on a park bench. 

"Shhh," Dracula put a finger to her lips. "You have nothing to apologize for. A woman as lovely as you should never apologize for anything." 

"But I trashed a dance club with my powers," Ororo told him.

"Well these things happen," Dracula shrugged. "But I too understand what it means to give into your dark impulses. Being a creature of darkness I have grown used to the cold, but now I see the warmth of the light in your eyes." 

"Oh Vlad…" Ororo sighed. "It's just been a crazy evening. And my being followed by my friends…for lack of a better word hasn't helped."

"Well I wasn't going to say anything but they do have a knack for killing the mood," Dracula agreed. 

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be constantly followed?" Ororo groaned.

Just then the howling of several wolves could be heard. "Actually…I have a pretty good idea," Dracula sighed as he stood up. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL TO SHUT UP? WHAT ARE YOU STALKING ME HERE? SHOO! GO AWAY!" 

"Wolves!?" Ororo yelped. "Here?"

"Oh don't worry they never attack," Dracula waved his hand. "They just follow me around all the time making that racket. It's enough to wake the dead! And I should know!" He stiffened.

"What is it?" Ororo asked.

"We are not alone…" Dracula looked around. "I sense the presence of another. A scaly serpentine presence hidden in the shadows…And I don't mean Reinfield's lunch…" 

"XI!" Ororo shouted. "COME ON OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!" The scaled mutant made himself visible right in front of them. "What are you doing here?"

"Spying on you," Xi said matter of factly. "And that non human here," He pointed to Dracula.

"How did you know I was a vampire?" Dracula asked.

"I didn't," Xi said. "I just know you're not a human due to my senses." 

"You're a what?" Ororo blinked.

"A vampire," Dracula told her. "I told you that I was a creature of the night."

"I thought you were making some kind of romantic hyperbole!" Ororo glared at him. 

"He does manage to do that a lot," A bat said as it flew by them and crashed right into a tree. "OUCH! I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT!" It transformed into a beautiful blonde woman wearing a silver outfit. "Oh crap! I got grass stains on my new outfit!" 

"Cindy!" Dracula blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"That's what I came to ask you!" Cindy got off the ground and stormed up to him. "It's a good thing I had the wolves track you down!"

"Oh really? THANKS A LOT YOU SNITCHES!" Dracula shouted at the wolves. The wolves howled back. "Oh yeah! SAME TO YOU!" 

"You're a vampire too?" Ororo blinked. 

"A **married** vampire," Cindy folded her arms. "To him." 

"WHAT?" Ororo shouted as she jumped up.

"Hold on!" Dracula pointed at Cindy. "**You** ran off and left me! Who are you to complain?" 

"You said your wife was dead!" Ororo shouted.

"Hello? Vampire?" Dracula told her. "You can't say I lied to you. I just didn't tell you the entire truth!"

"Ha! I've heard that before!" Cindy snorted. "Let me guess, you were gonna bite her three times and make her your new bride huh? I hope at least you didn't turn into a dog first and lick her feet!"

"CINDY!" Dracula snapped. "It's not as if I do it with everyone you know! Unlike **some** people!"

"What does that mean?" Cindy put her hands on her hips. 

"I'm not exactly the only one that goes prowling around licking strange feet now am I?" Dracula snapped.

"Oh no not the Johnny Depp thing again!" Cindy groaned. "I have a thing for him! Sue me! At least I didn't go flying around Paris Hilton's hotel room as a bat!"

"You know perfectly well that was an accident!" Dracula snapped. "You're the one who told me our room was 24B when it was actually 24C!"

"Actually I told Reinfield that!" Cindy corrected him.

"That's right blame me," Reinfield popped up out of the bushes. "Everybody blames Reinfield when things go wrong. But when things go right do I ever get a pat on the back? Nooooo!" 

"You are going to get a hit on the head if you don't…" Dracula snapped. 

"**HOLD IT!**" Ororo shouted. "You're a married vampire and you just up and decided to use me to replace your wife? And when were you going to **tell me** about all this?"

"Well I was kind of hoping until much later but that's not going to happen now," Dracula fidgeted. 

"YOU BET IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!" Ororo's eyes grew very dark and it started to thunder. 

"Uh oh…" Dracula gulped. "I should have stuck with the models…"

Meanwhile the Misfits, X-Men, Joes and Blade were racing to the scene. "You sure that tracer is working?" Logan asked.

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "It was real smart of Xi to follow 'em." 

"I just hope she doesn't realize Xi is with her," Shipwreck said. 

"I think she just found out," Todd remarked as it started to thunder. "There they are!" 

"GOOD!" Blade flashed his sword. "DRACULA! LORD OF ALL VAMPIRES! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT YOU MEET YOUR DOOM!" 

"Oh goody," Dracula sighed. "Just when I thought this evening couldn't get any worse." 

**What will happen next? What madness will occur? Will Dracula ever get a break? Will the wolves stop following him? Will Cindy become a widow before she decides to file for divorce? How will Shipwreck screw this up? Find out the answers in the next exciting chapter! **


	7. The Bat Guano Hits the Fan

**The Bat Guano Hits the Fan**

"Why is it that I cannot go anywhere without people trying to kill me?" Dracula sighed as Blade, the X-Men and the Misfits surrounded him. 

"Do you really have to **ask **that question?" Cindy snapped at him. She pointed her finger. "You can be the most thickheaded dead person on the planet!" 

"Don't you wag your finger at me!" Dracula snapped. "This is all your fault!" 

"My fault?" Cindy yelped.

"Yes your fault if you hadn't…WHOA!" Dracula dodged a strike from Blade's sword. "DO YOU MIND? I AM TRYING TO HAVE A PERSONAL CONVERSATION HERE?"

"DIE SPAWN OF HELL!" Blade slashed at him.

"Oh now that's really rude!" Dracula leapt out of range. "Blade has it ever occurred to you that one of the reasons you have problems with women is that you do not know how to be polite?"

"YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO LECTURE ANYONE ON WOMEN!" Ororo shouted as the lighting started to crackle.

"Oh boy…" Dracula gulped. "I really have put my foot in it haven't I?"

"Don't expect me to help you," Cindy folded her arms.

"For what you have done to my mentor Jamal Afori!" Blade snarled. "I will carve your meat from your undead bones and let them bleach in the sun!" 

"Oh for the love of…" Dracula rolled his eyes and dodged another strike. "That was over fifty years ago! And I only did that because you chopped up my bridge group! I haven't played a decent game of bridge in nearly 60 years!"

"He was my mentor!" Blade snarled. "You turned him into a vampire!"

"And then just because he changed his lifestyle you had to kill him?" Dracula asked as he knocked Blade back with a roundhouse kick. "You have a lot of issues you know that?" 

Meanwhile the X-Men, Joes and Misfits watched the fight. "Boy some people are too into their work," Todd remarked. 

"Should we be doing something?" Kurt asked.

"About Dracula no," Althea. "He seems to be kind of occupied…**That** however." She pointed to Shipwreck who was hugging Ororo and she was not happy about it. "We may have to step in." 

"ORORO! DARLING!" Shipwreck grabbed Ororo. "Thank goodness you're safe! I knew there was something wrong about that guy! Aren't you glad I followed you?"

"LET GO OF ME!" Ororo grabbed him and started to beat him up. The storm started to crackle above.

"Wow Vlad honey you sure know how to pick 'em," Cindy chuckled. She barely dodged a swing from Blade. "HEY! WATCH IT!" 

"DIE BRIDE OF SATAN!" Blade snarled as he advanced on her. Dracula flew over his head and stepped between them. 

"Your fight is with me Blade!" Dracula growled. "Leave her alone!" 

"She like all of your kind must be slain!" Blade howled. 

"Oh well aren't you a little ball of sunshine?" Dracula said sarcastically before he savagely kicked Blade backwards. "Let's get ready to rummmmmbbleeeeee!"

"Hey this is getting good!" Todd remarked. 

"Both fights are getting good," Kitty remarked.

"STORM! OW! I'M TRYING TO RESCUE YOU HERE!" Shipwreck was trying to protect himself while holding onto Ororo at the same time. She was beating him up mercilessly.

"SOMEBODY BETTER RESCUE YOU!" Ororo shouted.

"HEY!" Shipwreck jumped back. "**I'M **NOT THE GUY WHO LIED TO YOU AND TRIED TO MAKE YOU INTO A VAMPIRE!"

"I KNOW **THAT!** YOU JUST ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME!" Ororo kicked him in the shin. 

Cindy meanwhile had turned into a bat and Reinfield had taken off running. "Honey! Stop fighting with him so you can fight with **me!** We have too damn much to talk about for you to get killed now!" 

"Not a bad idea…" Dracula gulped as Blade brought out a crossbow. "Some other time perhaps!" Blade shot at him just as he transformed into a bat. He and Cindy flew away. 

"You were gonna make that psycho your next bride?" Cindy asked as they flew away. 

"Look who's talking!" Dracula snapped back. "Remember when that woman called out fat back in that shop on Rodeo Drive?"

"She deserved it!" Cindy snapped as the two bickered into the night.

"Wow," Kitty blinked. "That was…Weird."

"Kind of a let down after all that huh?" Arcade said.

"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Blade howled.

"Oh calm down," Thornn patted him on the back. "I'm sure you'll get him next time." 

"Well I think this evening has officially come to an end," Logan sighed.

"Get your hands off me you goon!" Ororo shouted at Shipwreck.

"With the exception of the traditional Shipwreck roast," Hank snickered. 

"Come on," Althea waved. "We'll take the X-Van back." The Misfits took off leaving the others behind.

"What about Shipwreck?" Todd asked.

"He can get his own ride!" Althea snapped. "If Storm has her way he'll be flying back to the Pit on a tornado." 

"Yeah this van is crowded enough," Pietro remarked as they squeezed in. "We should have left the triplets behind!" 

"Why because you think we're too young?" Daria asked.

"No because you hog all the seats!" Althea got into the driver's seat. 

"Well Blob takes up a lot of room you know?" Quinn said.

"Oh shut up and get your elbow out of my ear!" Fred snapped. 

They finally fit into the van and drove off. "Well that was fun night. Vampires, that's a new one for us!" Althea remarked. 

"Is it me or is Dracula not as bad as the hype says he is?" Lance asked. 

"He does seem to have lost his edge doesn't he?" Arcade remarked. 

"His fighting wasn't bad," Xi remarked. "Quite impressive actually." 

"Yeah for a dead guy," Todd remarked. 

"Thank you," A bat popped his head out of the backseat. 

"AAHHHHHHHH!" Everyone in the van screamed. 

"Way to go honey!" Another bat popped out. Soon both Dracula and Cindy transformed back into their normal selves. "Nice entrance!"

"Well at least I didn't bump into a tree!" Dracula snapped.

"Oh great now this van is even more crowded!" Quinn groaned. 

"What are you doing here?" Lance shouted. 

"Having a sing a long with Madonna," Dracula said. "What do you think I am doing here?"

"HE'S GONNA EAT US!" Todd screamed. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" 

"I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU!" Dracula snapped. "I'd sooner eat Reinfield! And believe me I do **not** want to eat Reinfield. By the way where is he?" 

"I thought he was following you," Cindy remarked. 

"No I thought he was with you…" Dracula said.

"No he was behind you, that's why…"Cindy began.

"HOLD IT!" Althea stopped the van. "Why are you in here in the first place?"

"To escape that psychotic maniac that's why!" Dracula told her. "Unfortunately she's followed me here." 

"Oh talk about the pot calling the kettle black…" Cindy groaned. 

"Hold on!" Althea shouted. "And the reason you people didn't go back to **your **vehicle is?" 

"Well I kind of forgot where we parked," Dracula sighed. "Any port in a storm. What do you expect? Reinfield does all the driving."

"That's it! He must have gone back to the car and driven to wherever you were staying," Cindy said. 

"Where are you staying?" Fred asked. 

"Bayville Plaza," Dracula told them. "It's very nice. Would you mind giving us a ride?"

"Sure! Why not?" Althea rolled her eyes. "Might as well make a night of it!" 

****

What happens when the Misfits drive around with Dracula? More madness and another enemy from Drac's past appears! Here's a hint, its another character from 'Love at First Bite' and an old flame of Cindy's! 


	8. How Many Enemies Can One Vampire Have?

**How Many Enemies Can One Vampire Have?**

"I can't believe we're actually doing this…" Althea groaned. "Tell me why again we're helping a couple of vampires that wanted to kill Storm?"

"Excuse me, **one **vampire!" Cindy said as she moved to the front seat of the van. "I am not angry at the lady my **husband **tricked into picking up!" 

"I did not trick her!" Dracula snapped. "I merely…didn't mention you. And besides it wasn't as if I was going to turn her into a vampire on the spot! I mean no real vampire with a sense of style does that! It's nothing like that show Muffy the Vampire slayer where everyone's brooding about and then attacks women they want in dark alleys! What's romantic about that? Call me old fashioned but first you woo the girl then you make her your bride!" 

"So you admit you were going to replace me!" Cindy snapped. 

"Excuse me? **Which **one of us walked out on who? And **why**?" Dracula snapped. "I may have a wandering eye but it was your feet that wandered away first sister!" 

"Hold it," Lance said. "You mean **she** left **you** for some other guy?" 

"I did not leave him for some guy!" Cindy snapped. "I left to find myself."

"Yes find yourself another stud muffin," Dracula sniffed. 

"Oh that is not the case and you know it!" Cindy snapped.

"Please! I am not stupid!" Dracula shouted back. 

"Oh you can be so immature sometimes!" Cindy snapped.

"I know you are but what am I?" Dracula snapped back.

"See what I mean? Is it any wonder I needed some time for personal growth?" Cindy yelled. 

"Oh that's a good one!" Dracula shouted. "Why don't you…"

"HOLD IT!" Wanda shouted silencing them both. "I think we're starting to see the picture here."

"Yeah we see it all right!" Lance glared at Cindy. "Plain as day!"

"What does that mean?" Cindy asked him.

"Mr. Dracula I know **exactly** what you are going through!" Lance told him. 

"Oh god no…" Pietro groaned. "Not this again…"

"Here we go…" Todd rolled his eyes. 

"Believe me I know what it's like to be used by someone you love!" Lance told him. "To have your heart torn out day after day after day…" 

"Oh god somebody shoot me!" Wanda groaned.

"I think I would have been happier if the vampires **did** try to kill us!" Xi moaned. 

"Okay can we get back to why this guy Blade wants to kill you?" Angelica asked. "Before we get bogged down by Lance's love life?" 

"He has issues," Dracula waved. "It all goes back to his mother and it gets very complicated and messy. And having a difficult childhood doesn't help. Let's just say that it was one of those things where we both acted foolishly and started retaliating in order to one up each other. It's kind of hard to understand."

"Actually I think we can relate," Lina groaned. "Ow! Get your feet out of my side!" 

"When **she** gets her elbow out of my ear!" Quinn snapped. 

"Well **somebody** better get their paws off my leg before I break theirs!" Wanda snapped. 

"Break a leg, **that's **an idea!" Cindy glared at Dracula.

"Oh don't get so moral with me missy…" Dracula shot back. 

"Thank god the hotel is only a block away…" Althea groaned as they stopped at the light.

At the same time a car drove up next to them. At the wheel was a man in his late fifties, dark hair going gray and had a rubberish type face. In the seat next to him was a young man in his twenties with long brown hair. The father was arguing with his son. "Barry I can't understand why you chose pottery for a major in college! Why not something meaningful? Like Psychology?"

"You mean like you? Do I really have to answer that?" Barry asked his father. "I mean it's hard enough having Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg as a father, much less a career model!"

"Hey! I made a name for myself!" 

"Yes as the biggest crackpot during the seventies. Do you know they still play that tape of you in the blackout of 79 in psyche classes as a prime example of mass hysteria?"

"You know very well about the incident!" Dr. Rosenberg told him. "I was trying to save what I thought was the love of my life from Dracula!" He looked over and saw Cindy in the van. "Oh my god…I can't believe it!"

"Dad lots of students take pottery as a major until they find something else."

"No, no that woman there…It can't be…It looks just like her…Oh my god it is her!" Dr. Rosenberg gasped. "I'd know that face anywhere!"

"I'm just saying what about my needs?" A very familiar Romanian accent could be heard. 

"And I'd know that voice anywhere!" Dr. Rosenberg growled. "That lousy…bat turning into…blood sucking creep!" 

"Dad…" Barry looked at his father. "Chill will ya?" 

The light changed and Dr. Rosenberg followed the van. "Uh Dad we missed the turn," Barry said.

"No we didn't," Dr. Rosenberg growled. "We're taking a little detour. You know we don't do enough as a family. You know that? We've never done a lot of things, playing catch…building a soapbox derby car…going hunting. How about we go hunting now huh?" 

"Dad…" Barry looked at him. "What's going on?"

"I think its time we did a little male bonding that's all," Dr. Rosenberg had a maniac glint as he shadowed the van to the Bayville Plaza. "You remember what I told you about your ancestor Van Helsing?"

"Dad our name is Rosenberg, remember?" 

"You know I had it changed for professional reasons!" He shouted at his son. "There! See! Look over there at the people getting out of the van there! What do you see?"

"A lot of weird looking people. Does that chick have wings?" 

"Yeah and one of them is wearing a cape! Aha! I knew it! It's the lord of the undead himself and Cindy…God she hasn't aged a day! Of course if you're dead I guess that would prevent wrinkles…"

"Dad this isn't another one of your episodes isn't it? Like when I was in junior high and you tackled the chaperone at our Halloween dance?" Barry was getting worried.

"Okay I admit that night I was wrong but this time that is Dracula! I'm sure of it!" Dr. Rosenberg got out of the car. "And this time I'm prepared!" He ran to the trunk and took out two wooden stakes. "Come on Barry! Let's go hunt down Dracula! It'll be fun!"

"Uh…No thanks," Barry told him. "You know I'm not really in a hunting vampire mood right now."

"Do you want me to pay your college tuition? Let's go!" He ran off.

"Fine! I'm coming! Just let me make a call first," Barry took out his cell phone. 

"Back up! Good idea son!" Dr. Rosenberg shouted gleefully. "After all these years I will finally have my revenge!" He ran after Dracula. 

"Hey mom," Barry spoke into his cell phone. "Dad's lost it. Yeah it's the vampire thing again. Uh huh. I gotcha. I'll try to stay with him until the guys in the white coats come."

Meanwhile the Misfits and the Dracula party were in the lobby. "Wow this is a nice hotel," Fred whistled.

"I'm just glad that we're out of the van," Daria groaned. 

"Well how about we go up to our room and…" Dracula looked around and saw a lot of people were staring at them. "What's the matter? Hasn't anyone seen a person wear a cape before?"

"Actually I think it's us they're staring at," Lina muttered.

"Yeah we're kind of well known in this town and not in the good way," Pietro said. 

"YOU!" Dr. Rosenberg caught up to them. "I've finally tracked you down!" He brandished his wooden stakes. "It's time for our day of reckoning!" 

"Not again! Oh man are you the guy from that all you can eat restaurant?" Fred groaned.

"Not you," Dr. Rosenberg. "Him! At long last our paths cross again you fiancée stealing freak!" 

"I didn't steal anybody!" Pietro protested. "It was just one little dance and…"

"Not **you**!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped. "The one in the cape! He's the one I want!"

"Me? Do I know you?" Dracula asked.

"Hello! You ruined my life nearly thirty years ago! I would think that you would remember?" Dr. Rosenberg said in an annoyed tone. "Stole my girl and turned her into a vampire! Does that ring a bell?"

"Jeffrey?" Cindy asked. "Jeffery Rosenberg? Is that you? My god that is you! How are you?"

"Oh great! Great how are you?" Dr. Rosenberg brightened as he spoke to her. "You look great! You haven't aged a day!"

"Well you know," She shrugged. "The whole immortal youth thing. One of the perks of being a vampire."

"Oh that's right I forgot," Dr. Rosenberg grinned. "Well it really works for you. You really look great!"

"Well thank you Jeffrey! You look…" She tried to find something nice to say. "Distinguished." 

"Oh well you know how it is," Dr. Rosenberg said. "I got married and had a couple of kids. One's in college now."

"Oh really?" Dracula rolled his eyes. "Good for you! Well as lovely as it has been to see you we really have to run. We should do this again sometime. Make a date of it."

"The only date you have **Count** is a date with destiny!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped. 

"Oh not this again," Dracula sighed. "Look I got the girl and you lost. Get over it!" 

"I will! When I vanquish you once and for all!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped.

"Uh maybe you should…" Lance began but Dracula stopped him.

"Don't worry I can handle him," Dracula said. "He's harmless. Dr. Rosenberg! Look into my eyes!" "You're getting sleepy! Sleepy!"

"Oh no! Not **this** again!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped. "But I'm ready this time! I've taken lessons! **You** are getting sleepy! Sleepy!" 

"No you are getting sleepy!" Dracula told him.

"No you are," Dr. Rosenberg said.

"No **you** are!" Dracula spoke.

"No **you** are!" Dr. Rosenberg protested.

"No **you **are!"

"Uh uh, **you **are!" 

"I beg to differ, **you **are!" 

"Forget it **you** are!" 

"Actually Jeffrey! **You are**!" Cindy walked behind him, picked up a vase and whacked him on the head with it, knocking him out cold. "Well I've finally got him back for knocking **me** out all those years ago. Do you mind if we go up to the room? I'm beat."

"Yes oh bellhop have someone clean that up?" Dracula asked a frightened bellhop. "Now maybe we can go up to the hotel room and talk about our problems in private!" 

"Cool!" Daria shouted. "We can check out the mini bar!" 

"What?" Dracula asked.

"Hey it's the least you can do after we drove you here," Todd remarked.

"Oh why not! It's not as if the two of us can stand being alone in the same room anyway!" Cindy groaned. 

"Master! Mistress!" Reinfield ran up to them. "I'm so glad I found you!"

"Actually Cindy the odds of us being alone tonight are pretty slim anyway," Dracula groaned. 

"You know something maybe you two should talk about your problems," Fred told them. "I read a book on marriage counseling once. Maybe I can help?" 

"Please tell me he isn't serious," Arcade looked at Lance.

"Are you kidding?" Lance groaned. "When you've been around him as long as we have **anything** is possible." 

"Now why don't we take some cleansing breaths shall we?" Fred told them as they went up to the room.

"Why not?" Dracula sighed. "What do we have to lose?"

"Yeah I'm up for it," Cindy nodded as she sat down.

"I'm calling room service…" Wanda sighed as she dialed the hotel phone. 

"Yeah might as well get a snack," Todd nodded. Then he glared at Reinfield. "Since **someone** took mine earlier…" 

"Okay, go ahead…" Reinfield snapped. "Sue me for having good taste!" 

Althea's cell phone rang and she answered it. "Hey Roadblock," Althea spoke into the phone. "Yeah well you're not gonna believe where we are and who we're with…And **what **we're doing…" 

**Next: Vampire Marriage Counseling with the Misfits! **


	9. Vampire Marriage Counseling

**Vampire Marriage Counseling**

"Man what a swanky pad," Todd whistled as he looked around the penthouse.

"Yeah it has everything you could want," Arcade remarked. "An open bar, a Jacuzzi…"

"A coffin in the middle of the room," Lance remarked looking at it. 

"I'm ordering room service," Todd said. "I just have an urge for a sundae topped with marshmallow fluff!" 

"Ooh! That sounds nice!" Reinfield chirped. "Maybe we can get them to have it topped with crickets!"

"You know Reinfield," Todd looked at him. "This sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"It sounds like the end of my appetite…" Angelica groaned.

"I'm not that crazy about bug eating either!" Lina said. "For obvious reasons!" 

"Hey let's see what we can play with in the bathroom!" Quinn said. "Hey it even has a radio in here!" 

"Fine you girls have fun!" Althea waved. As soon as they were in she locked the door. "Well that takes care of that menace for a while!" 

"All right now," Fred smiled at Dracula and Cindy on the couch. "Let's talk about our feelings. Cindy why don't you start?" 

"This is going to take a while…" Dracula grumbled.

************************************************************************

Meanwhile Dr. Rosenberg was running wildly through the hotel. "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE SOMEWHERE DRACULA!" He shouted. "I'LL GET YOU IF I HAVE TO SEARCH EVERY ROOM!" He opened one door and ran in; not realizing it was a broom closet. "DAMN!" 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile Cindy was continuing her talk. "I mean I do love you Vlad but sometimes I don't know if I've made the right decision! Should I have given up my career or not? I feel trapped!" 

"Oh I know what **that **sounds like!" Lance snapped. "I know a girl who would get along with you lady!" 

"Lance we're here to talk about **their **romantic problems!" Pietro groaned. "Yours could take a week to fix easily!"

"It would be easier if you just dumped Kitty for good!" Wanda groaned.

"Well right now I figure to let her suffer a little would be better," Lance said.

"Hello? What about **our **problems here?" Cindy asked. 

"It sounds to me Cindy that while you want your independence you still want to be taken care of on some level," Fred remarked. "And Mr. Dracula your problem is that you are kind of stuck in the past concerning male/female role models." 

"Look I am several thousand years old," Dracula whined. "Change does not come easy for me! I stopped biting and killing people for you didn't I?"

"You did?" Wanda asked. 

"Yes," Dracula said. 

"You stole the blood from the blood bank didn't you?" Althea asked. 

"Hey a vampire has to eat," Dracula shrugged. "Besides would you prefer it if I went out and slaughtered some people in town?"

"Depends on who you target," Todd joked. "If you really need to bite someone we have a list of possible donors we wouldn't miss."

"Not now Toad," Lance groaned. "You really don't bite people at all anymore?"

"No I gave it all up," Dracula said. "Let's just say I had some very bad experiences when I first came to this country."

"He was nearly eaten himself," Reinfield offered. "A group of locals thought he was a chicken."

"Shut up Reinfield!" Dracula snapped. 

"The only person he could bite was some wino," Reinfield continued. "It made his sick as a dog."

"Nobody cares about that!" Dracula growled. 

"Do you know how hard it is to get stains out of a coffin?" Reinfield asked.

"ENOUGH!" Dracula shouted causing his retainer to cringe. "Why don't you shout it out to the whole world that I am a failure! Go ahead and say it, 'Dracula is a failure! A big fat failure!'"

"Oh honey I never thought you were a failure," Cindy shook her head. 

"You didn't?" Dracula blinked. 

"Of course not," Cindy told him. "You are the most famous vampire in the world."

"You are a non living legend," Reinfield. "I never thought you were a failure."

"Who cares what you think?" Dracula snapped at Reinfield. He turned back to Cindy. "Go on."

"Vlad you are still the most interesting man I have ever met," Cindy said. "Dead or alive!"

"You're not just saying that are you?" Dracula asked. "I mean I've always felt envious of how easy you adapt to new things. I still can't figure out how to operate a VCR and you can program it one two three!" 

"You were jealous of me?" Cindy gasped. "Honey I've been jealous of you!" 

"Jealous of me?" Dracula asked.

"Well yeah here you are world famous and everything," Cindy said. "I mean I'm 'Dracula's Wife' what does that say about me? I'd just like to have a little fame of my own back instead of you having it all." 

"I never thought of it like that," Dracula mused. Then he heard a noise from the bathroom. "What are they doing in there?"

"I'm afraid to find out," Althea sighed as she reluctantly unlocked the door. "What did you girls do in here? Take out all the plumbing?"

"We made something," Daria was very happy as well as very grimy. 

"Dare I ask?" Althea sighed. "What did you three mad scientists create?" 

"Ta da!" They chirped showing them a strange looking invention made of pipes, wires and what looked like a gold toilet bowl. 

"What the hell is that?" Reinfield asked.

"I would have thought that you would know by now," Dracula told him. "Of course since you're still not housebroken…" 

"It's a replicator!" Quinn laughed. "Watch!" She grabbed an orange from a fruit basket and put it in the toilet. She pressed the lever and it started to glow. Suddenly two oranges popped out. She caught them. "Ta Da! Wanna taste?"

"No freaking way…" Pietro winced. "How could you three possibly…?"

"I don't want to know," Althea groaned. Then the cell phone rang again. "I'll get it. It's probably Roadblock having a cow again." She took it and walked into the next room. 

"You have very interesting friends," Reinfield said to Todd as they ate their sundaes. 

"Interesting doesn't even **begin** to describe them," Todd told him. "You know these sundaes are good! Even without the crickets the marshmallow topping is great!" 

"Oh boy," Althea groaned as she walked back in. "We have a problem. Blade is in the hotel now. He found out where we are from the X-Geeks." 

"That is not good," Xi thought. "Or is it? I mean this is Dracula we're talking about, right?"

"Yeah but he's not exactly the same person we saw in the movies," Lance told him. 

"If he did give it up then he's not bad anymore," Fred reasoned. "We can't let Blade kill him." 

"That's not the only problem," Althea said. "Storm wants to go after him too for well…everything."

"Between the two of them Drac has a better chance with the vampire hunter," Todd remarked. "So what do we do?" 

"I have an idea…"Arcade said. "Hey Trinity…Let me see that machine for a second…" 

**What's Arcade's plan? What will happen at the end? Will Blade kill Dracula? Will Ororo do it instead? Will Dr. Rosenberg beat them to it? Or will he stay locked in the broom closet some more? Find out in the insane conclusion! **


	10. Another Disasterous Date Ends

**Another Disastrous Date Ends**

Kurt teleported into the room with Rogue and Jean. Earlier he had teleported with Scott and Kitty. "All right," Scott looked at Althea. "Wolverine, Thunderbird and the others are keeping Storm and Blade busy like you asked. Why I have no idea."

"How are they doing that?" Lina asked.

************************************************************************

"He's in this room I'm sure of it!" Logan shouted to Blade as he pointed to a door.

"You'd better be right this time!" Blade snorted. "If only I didn't have to rely on you people! That idiotic girl with the ponytail and her perfume! She sprayed it right into my face! My sense of smell is all screwed up!" 

"Well its not like she did it on purpose or anything," Hank shrugged. "Quick! In here!" 

Blade opened the door and raced in. Only to find it was a broom closet. An occupied broom closet. "Hi there!" Dr. Rosenberg gasped after Blade bumped into him. "Hey you haven't seen a vampire around have you?"

"What do you know of vampires?" Blade blinked. His eyes were easily able to see in the dark. "AND WHY THE HELL AM I IN A BROOM CLOSET?"

"I know I made the same mistake," Dr. Rosenberg told him. "I was sure Dracula was in here."

"How do you know of Dracula?" Blade asked. 

"He stole my fiancée from me back in the seventies!" Dr. Rosenberg snapped. "I was very nearly in love with her. I'm pretty sure I was in love with her. But that jerk in the cape swept her off her feet and turned her into a vampire! What did she **see** in that guy? Maybe it was the cape?" 

"This does not come as a shock to me," Blade moved to the door. He tried to open it but it was locked. "DAMNATION TO HELL! LET ME OUT!" 

"We're trying but the darn thing is stuck," Logan grinned as Hank and Roadblock carefully let down a huge refrigerator in front of the broom closet. 

"I'll chop my way out!" Blade howled and started to whack at the door with his sword.

"Hey! Watch it here!" Dr. Rosenberg ducked the sword. "Some of us here want to stay alive long enough to slay Dracula!"

"Slay Dracula? You?" Blade looked at Rosenberg. "Do not make me laugh!"

"For your information I am a descendent of Dr. Van Helsing himself!" Rosenberg snapped.

"Really?" Blade looked at him. "Wait…Your name would not happen to be Rosenberg would it?"

"Why yes it is," Dr. Rosenberg grinned with pride. "You've heard of me?"

"I have," Blade growled as his eyes glowed. "You are the fool who is the laughingstock of my profession! Your ancestor was a great man and your very being shames his legacy to no end!"

"Now…Hold on here…" Dr. Rosenberg gulped trying to back away. "Don't you think you're judging me a little too harshly here. Of course you're entitled to your opinion…Oh my god! You're a vampire too! HELP! HELP! I'M TRAPPED WITH A VAMPIRE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" 

"NO I AM **NOT** A VAMPIRE!" Blade grabbed him and shook him. 

"HELP! HELP! I'M BEING ASSAULTED HERE! VAMPIRE ASSAULT!" Rosenberg shouted. "HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

"NO I'M JUST GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU, YOU BUMBLING IMBACILE!" Blade shouted, clearly frustrated. 

"DON'T HIT ME! I KNOW A LOT OF GOOD LAWYERS! OW!" 

"Well this is more entertaining than I thought it would be," Logan chuckled as the others stood outside the door. 

"Yeah I think that'll keep him busy until we find out what's going on," Roberto said. 

"What about Storm?" Thornn asked. "She's still on the warpath." 

"SHIPWRECK CUT IT OUT!" They heard Ororo shouting. "NO I AM NOT INTERESTED IN RENTING A HONEYMOON SUITE!" 

"I think Shipwreck's taking care of that," Low Light said.

***********************************************************************

Meanwhile the Misfits had explained the situation to the other X-Men. "Are you people seriously telling us that Dracula the Lord of the Undead is really an okay guy?" Rogue asked sarcastically. "I don't buy it!"

"Well that's because you've been hearing all the propaganda," Todd pointed out. "You know if you think about it, vampires and mutants have a lot in common."

"I don't believe this…" Jean groaned.

"I do!" Scott snapped. "Of course the Misfits would be on the bad guy's side!" 

"And what is that crack supposed to mean?" Lance snarled.

"Exactly what you think it means!" Scott told him. 

"Look if you don't believe us ask them yourselves!" Wanda pointed to the vampires. 

"I swear I have never bitten anyone but my husband!" Cindy held up her hand. "Okay there was this one saleslady but she called me fat and she totally deserved it. But it was only on the arm and not the neck!" 

"I've been off the biting wagon for decades!" Dracula told them. "I've even started a support group for vampires like myself. See here's our card." He took out a card and gave it to Scott.

"Vampires Anonymous," Scott read. "Taking the afterlife one night at a time."

"Okay it's official," Rogue said. "Now I have heard everything!" 

"Okay so now that we all agree Dracula is not so icky anymore," Kitty said. "What do want us to do about it? I mean it's still pretty dark outside, can't you guys just turn into bats and fly away?"

"We would but there's no place for us to hide for the day," Cindy told them. "By the time Reinfield got around to making our plane reservations there wasn't anything available until tomorrow."

"Well they're not staying with us that's for sure!" Scott snapped. "Wait a minute! You Misfits have teleportation watches! Can't you just transport them somewhere?"

"Well normally yeah but…" Pietro looked at Trinity. 

"The system is kind of down again," Daria explained. "We kind of used up the fuel on our last trip to get some stuff for our latest device." She pointed to the toilet.

"An electric toilet?" Kurt asked.

"No it's a replicator," Lance told them. "Trust us on this, you don't want a demonstration." 

"O-kay…" Jean blinked. 

"Look we just need a place to hide in for a day," Dracula said. "And a place to stash our coffin. It's built for two people."

"Wonderful so you want us to sneak Dracula and his wife out of here…" Scott said.

"And me!" Reinfield piped up. 

"And their driver…" Scott continued.

"Don't forget our coffin," Dracula said.

"And the coffin…" Scott went on.

"Oh and my luggage," Dracula said. 

"I have some souvenirs I got in the lobby," Cindy said. 

"WHAT DO WE LOOK LIKE HERE? A MOVING VAN COMPANY?" Scott shouted.

"Oh come on Summers," Lance said. "You can hide two vampires and one servant for one day at your fancy mansion! It's not like you don't have the room!"

"Or you've not hidden people on the run before," Todd pointed out.

"I'd like to think we'd draw the line at vampires!" Scott said.

"Racist!" Dracula snapped.

"He's got a point!" Fred pointed out. 

"What about Storm?" Jean folded her arms. "Take that point into consideration." 

"Oh yeah I forgot about her," Fred said. 

"That's right. You guys can't go there," Pietro said. "You'd be Kentucky Fried Bat in ten seconds!" 

"Wait a minute," Kurt said. "What about the old Brotherhood house? They could hide there."

"Yeah nobody goes there anymore," Kitty said. "It's still standing. Barely but any port in a storm."

A loud thunderclap could be heard. "And speaking of storms…" Todd gulped.

"Well its not exactly the Ritz but it'll have to do," Wanda sighed. "I've got to warn you, the place is a dump. Everything's broken down and it's full of cockroaches and spiders."

"**Really**?" Reinfield's eyes lit up. "Can we go Master? Oh please can we go? Please! Please! Please!" 

"Oh all right! All right! We'll go!" Dracula waved. 

"Good! Nightcrawler you take Reinfield and the coffin and make a few short ports over to the Brotherhood house," Scott sighed. "You guys give them directions how to get there. But this is it!" 

"Thank you one and all," Dracula grinned. "And thank you for helping me save my marriage!"

"Sorry for all the trouble," Cindy said. 

"Okay here we go," Kurt hopped on top of the coffin. "Hop aboard!"

"Oh goody! A ride! A ride!" Reinfield hopped on top. "I feel like I'm going to Disney!" 

"Check out the roaches in the south corner of the basement!" Todd called out. "They're really tasty!"

"Thanks for the tip!" Reinfield said before Kurt teleported off. 

Just then the door crashed open and a very angry Ororo stood there. "YOU!" She shouted at Dracula.

"Now Storm…" Fred gulped. "Let's all talk about this like civilized people!"

"Yes you know it's really me who should be mad…" Cindy began. "But I have to admit part of this is my fault! If we could just talk about this…" 

"No…" Ororo's eyes grew white and electricity filled the air.

"Arcade…" Lance gulped. "Whatever you're gonna do…Please do it!"

"You got it!" Arcade dumped the remains of his and Todd's sundaes into the replicator and flushed the handle. The next thing Ororo knew something white and fluffy shot out of the toilet and covered her with it.

"AGGGHH!" She screamed accidentally shooting a lightning bolt at the replicator. This caused it to act up and shoot out more gunk. 

"Uh guys…" Arcade gulped. "I think this thing is stuck on overdrive!" 

"I think now is a good time to depart! Good Evening!" Dracula said as he and Cindy turned into bats and flew out the window. 

"Get that thing turned off!" Althea warned.

"We can't!" Brittany told her. "Boy there's a lot of this stuff, whatever it is."

"Marshmallow Topping," Quinn tasted it. "Must have gunked up the system somehow so it didn't get to the ice cream yet…"

"Guys! I think she's gonna blow!" Todd cried out.

Ten minutes later people in the downstairs lobby heard a rumbling noise. Suddenly a flood of marshmallow topping came pouring out of all the elevators and down the stairs. Panicked people ran everywhere, slipping and getting stuck. It also brought down some very familiar faces.

"THIS IS THE WORK OF THE VAMPIRES!" Dr. Rosenberg shouted as he stumbled out. "RUN! VAMPIRES ARE AMONG US!" 

"Dad what did you do?" Barry groaned as he walked with two men in white coats. "There he is guys."

"Barry? Barry where are you taking me? Oh no I can explain!" Dr. Rosenberg said as the men in white coats carried him away. "It's the vampires' fault! THE VAMPIRES I TELL YOU!" 

"Maybe I should go into psychiatry…"Barry mused. "I could make a fortune off my dad alone!"

"YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS!" Blade howled as he stormed out covered with marshmallow. "Because of you Dracula, his bride and that hideous creature got away!" 

"Well accidents happen," Todd said. "You know I think they went off to someplace far away…Boston or London…I think!"

"Well I know one thing. Not even Dracula is insane enough to stay in the same town with you lunatics! I never want to see you people ever again!" Blade growled as he left.

Kurt teleported in. "Well mission accomplished! Ewww! What is this gunk? What happened?" 

"Grab a spoon and some hot fudge and I'll tell you everything," Althea sighed. 

************************************************************************

"What a night…" Logan grunted as the X-Men walked into the Institute. They were still all covered with bits of marshmallow. "Charles! We're back!"

"I'm going to be cleaning this out of my fur for weeks…" Thornn grumbled. 

"It's a good thing you girls dismantled that stupid thing," Forge grumbled. "Especially before somebody used it for it's original purpose. And you guys complain about **my** inventions?" 

"Professor?" Kitty called out. "We're back! Hello?" 

"Yo! Where is everyone?" Todd looked around. A loud scream and an insane laugh could be heard upstairs. "Ask a stupid question." 

"Come on Rogue you'd better help me untie them," Lance sighed as he went upstairs. "SPYDER YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE KID!" 

"Not as big as Shipwreck," Todd snickered as Shipwreck and Ororo walked in together. Literally. The marshmallow topping had hardened and they were stuck together.

"I told you I was stuck on you," Shipwreck grinned.

"Hank you'd better make something to unstick us fast!" Ororo shouted. "Or so help me…" 

Just then the phone rang. "Charles? Where have you been? We lost you after Storm fogged up the highway?" Logan asked. "Tabitha hit a **cop**? Why? She thought he was making a pass at her? Where are you? **In jail**?" 

"Well this night is full of new surprises," Todd remarked. 

"Oh and the hotel is suing us for wrecking the place…" Logan groaned as he listened. "As well as the dance club. I figured that. Fine we'll be right down with the bail…"

"Oh I gotta see this!" Shipwreck shouted. "At least something good came out of tonight!" 

"NOTHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THIS NIGHT!" Ororo shouted. 

"Hey we're not the one's who have bad taste in men!" Rogue snapped. 

"Boy Storm you really have a lousy social life don't ya?" Pietro observed. 

"Hey I hear Frankenstein's monster is available. Why don't you go shack up with him?" Hank snapped. 

"God I hate being single…" Ororo moaned. 

**Well that's the end of another wacky fic! Now I'm off on my vacation! Whoopee! Don't worry! There will be plenty of insanity and other stuff when I get back in a week or so! Including serious stuff too!**

Hank: **That's** what we're worried about! 


End file.
